I've been home for 26 days now, and it feels in some ways as though I'd never left. I'm back at work, back to seeing my home friends, which has been wonderful, back with both the good and bad aspects of life at home. But oh boy, do I miss Edinburgh.
People ask all the time what my favorite thing was about Scotland, and every single time I am asked my tongue invariably becomes tied and I can't think of an answer. There are so many tremendously beautiful things about my time there, so many experiences that I treasure but when I attempt to explain them the words fall flat and feel inadequate.
Scotland was me learning to survive on my own, without the support system I was used to having. Every day I was challenged by something new, and learning to rely on myself and God to get me through was one of the hardest things I've ever had to do.
Coming back to Berks County has been difficult too. In many ways it feels so small and constricted; while of course I'm thrilled to be back I'm also chaffing at what feels like the shrinking walls of Southeastern PA. I feel restless much of the time, and angry as a result of being constrained. I keep looking for new adventures, but most of all I want to go back; in a sense, to go home. I had a lot of expectations about returning to the US, and many of them have been fufilled, but a few key ones are glaring holes still, and that has put a distinct damper on the last few weeks. There are lots of blessings though, too: finding a good friend in almost the last person I would expect, having almost unlimited creative opportunities, and potential for life changing adventures in the form of a Watson Fellowship.
Fortunately in two weeks (!!!) I'll be making a trip up to New York to meet with several of my friends from Scotland! The idea of seeing them all is keeping me excited about life right now.
Monday 27 June 2011
Tuesday 31 May 2011
Monday 30 May 2011
Drop it Like A Scot
(that one's for you, Jule)
Sometimes life hands you little blessings. Like today, I have been packing fanatically in short bursts and then getting distracted in longer ones, but mostly I have been staring at the pile of food in my kitchen left by my flatmates and trying to figure out what in the dickens to do with it all. Like seriously, it was a p.i.l.e. So i had been doing that for a while until I figured it was time to migrate back to the room and possibly grab my camera to take a picture of it, because then someone else could sympathise with me, but I got distracted by iTunes and before I knew it I was having a full-on dance party in my room, because Jason Derulo has crazy powers like that.
But then! A knock! (hark!)
And hallelujah, it was Scarlett's friend come to pick up the blender she forgot, and as I was complaining to him about the p.i.l.e. he mentioned that he was staying here until July, and a lightbulb went on! And before the poor guy knew what had hit him, I was back in the kitchen with a box and shoving things in it for him to take with, and he was gazing at me adoringly. I know, I know. I am a goddess of kitchen-y things and saving poor starving British boys. So that problem is solved! And he probably would have gotten down on one knee despite the large box and blender he was holding and asked me to be his domestic goddess and provide him with free Lady Grey tea and oregano for the rest of our lives, but I was already on my way back to my Jason Derulo dance party. And now my kitchen is gloriously empty!
Speaking of drropping it like a Scot, as last night was Molly's last night in Edinburgh we went back to our beloved Finnegan's Wake to see our beloved Schmohawks one last time in all their banjo-y cover glory. Here is a picture from last week, because there are lots of words here and not enough pictures.
Sometimes life hands you little blessings. Like today, I have been packing fanatically in short bursts and then getting distracted in longer ones, but mostly I have been staring at the pile of food in my kitchen left by my flatmates and trying to figure out what in the dickens to do with it all. Like seriously, it was a p.i.l.e. So i had been doing that for a while until I figured it was time to migrate back to the room and possibly grab my camera to take a picture of it, because then someone else could sympathise with me, but I got distracted by iTunes and before I knew it I was having a full-on dance party in my room, because Jason Derulo has crazy powers like that.
But then! A knock! (hark!)
And hallelujah, it was Scarlett's friend come to pick up the blender she forgot, and as I was complaining to him about the p.i.l.e. he mentioned that he was staying here until July, and a lightbulb went on! And before the poor guy knew what had hit him, I was back in the kitchen with a box and shoving things in it for him to take with, and he was gazing at me adoringly. I know, I know. I am a goddess of kitchen-y things and saving poor starving British boys. So that problem is solved! And he probably would have gotten down on one knee despite the large box and blender he was holding and asked me to be his domestic goddess and provide him with free Lady Grey tea and oregano for the rest of our lives, but I was already on my way back to my Jason Derulo dance party. And now my kitchen is gloriously empty!
Speaking of drropping it like a Scot, as last night was Molly's last night in Edinburgh we went back to our beloved Finnegan's Wake to see our beloved Schmohawks one last time in all their banjo-y cover glory. Here is a picture from last week, because there are lots of words here and not enough pictures.
It was a pretty terrific time, as always. They played all of our favorites; Galway Girl, Don't Stop Believing, Fat Bottomed Girls, Proud Mary, and Ring of Fire. Sadly, Livin' on a Prayer was not played, but we made up for it with our rousing rendition of Don't Stop Believing, and that seemed like a good time to make our rock-star exit. The people of the pub were quite impressed with us. Farewell, beloved Finnegan's! I miss you immensely already.
The rest of today is packing and taking care of odd errands, and then tomorrow I'm off to find Dalhousie Castle, home of the ancestors and all that. Probably another dance party or two will occur as well, because packing is just so darned stressful.
Oh and fye, here's a funny snippet from my day yesterday:
so. awkward.
Saturday 28 May 2011
Lasts
I'm running on so little sleep it's not even funny. Which means that today has been utterly bewildering so far. After waking up twenty mintures before I was due at my friend's flat I found myself trying to wash my hair with conditioner and not wearing shower shoes, which never happens. The last twentyfour hours have been insane, trying to pack in lots of last times with my Butler girls, three of whom left this morning (just ten minutes ago, actually). We tramped all over the Salisbury Craigs yesterday, Lauren and I, braving the wind and on-again-off-again rain and also a really old couple making out in the grass, which was quite odd.
Then we checked out touristy shops on the Royal Mile and found a million things we wanted to buy but didn't (but oh! the temptation of child-size T shirts that read "a wee shirt for a wee little monster"!), and met up with everyone one last time for dinner. If you ever go to Scotland, do not - I repeat, do NOT - leave without eating a steak and ale pie. They are the best comfort food there is, including mac and cheese and whatever it is that Mom makes best. Visual:
Then we checked out touristy shops on the Royal Mile and found a million things we wanted to buy but didn't (but oh! the temptation of child-size T shirts that read "a wee shirt for a wee little monster"!), and met up with everyone one last time for dinner. If you ever go to Scotland, do not - I repeat, do NOT - leave without eating a steak and ale pie. They are the best comfort food there is, including mac and cheese and whatever it is that Mom makes best. Visual:
Yes. You know you want one now. I have (finally) discovered my favorite Scottish food. We were all up super late in Lauren's flat, (not really) helping her pack and doing everything we could to prevent the inevitable leaving. Too bad it didn't work.
Four more days, people.
P.S. LOOK HOW LEGIT I AM
Friday 27 May 2011
Things To Be Doing Lately
1. Go to the Edinburgh Zoo and spend a terrific day in the rain checking out Hyraxes and baby Wallabies and Zebras and fulfilling your ambition of the last five months and (finally!) seeing the Penguin Parade.
2. Eat your first deep-fried Mars Bar. It is something of a Scottish specialty, for some unknown reason, and isn't actually worth trying ... but if you really have to, make sure that you split it with four or five people, because one bite of that sucker will have you feeling about ready to die from a heart attack or clogged arteries or system failure, or something equally as disgusting / pathetic.
3. Go see the Harry Potter toilet in the Elephant House, where J.K. Rowling wrote the first HP book. There are three stalls, each with quotes and dedications and love notes to Harry freaking Potter, and also Severus Snape. However, although it is quite a lot of fun to stand inside the stall and laugh at all the awesome things written inside, you should probably limit your time in there, otherwise a poor old lady waiting to use the toilet will be slightly mad at you when you come out grinning with your camera in hand and she has been standing there doing the pee dance for about five minutes.
4. Obligatory tourist-y picture inside a telephone booth.
5. Go to the playground by the Uni at night. For some reason, this is an important part of study abroad, as almost all of the Butler kids have done it.
6. Go on a ghost tour of the underground vaults of Edinburgh (a place which apparently is actually haunted and you have no interest in being but your friends make you go anyway because they are so sweet like that). You will probably hold your friends' hands the entire time and jump at every changing shadow or gust of air, especially since the guide tells you that there are no drafts in the vaults.
7. Travel to North Berwick for a very windy, very cold day on the beach. Actually, it is only about an hour on the beach and two hours in a tea room trying to get warm again, but who's counting?
it's been pretty busy around here lately.
Saturday 21 May 2011
Like A Scot
Here is something I stumbled upon this morning while studying. It's the third part of a list of rules concerning the actions of the nobility in case of a conflict:
"(Third) for ane displeasure that they apprehend to be done against them by their neighbour, to take up a plaine feide against him and without respect to God, King or Commonweale to bang it out bravelie, he and all his kinne against him and all his."
The author continues by saying, "'Banging it out bravely' was altogether characteristic of the sixteenth-century Scot." After spending almost five months here I think it is safe to say that sort of behaviour is still characteristic for most Scots.
One more thing to share with you all before I run off to my test, from the same delightful book:
"The nuns, on the other hand, though few in number, were more scandalous than the monks. They were normally too illiterate even to write their own names. A report to Rome in 1556 gave a colourful account of their unchastities. They were frequently so undisciplined that they no longer even bothered to live within the nunnery precincts. By mid-century a Scotsman could hardly have done worse by his daughter than in sending her to a nunnery …”
Apparently the nuns back then really had it going on. Wish me luck people!
"(Third) for ane displeasure that they apprehend to be done against them by their neighbour, to take up a plaine feide against him and without respect to God, King or Commonweale to bang it out bravelie, he and all his kinne against him and all his."
The author continues by saying, "'Banging it out bravely' was altogether characteristic of the sixteenth-century Scot." After spending almost five months here I think it is safe to say that sort of behaviour is still characteristic for most Scots.
One more thing to share with you all before I run off to my test, from the same delightful book:
"The nuns, on the other hand, though few in number, were more scandalous than the monks. They were normally too illiterate even to write their own names. A report to Rome in 1556 gave a colourful account of their unchastities. They were frequently so undisciplined that they no longer even bothered to live within the nunnery precincts. By mid-century a Scotsman could hardly have done worse by his daughter than in sending her to a nunnery …”
Apparently the nuns back then really had it going on. Wish me luck people!
xxx
Friday 20 May 2011
Today is a good day and this is why:
Aren't they the most gorgeous things you've ever laid eyes on? This is a case of true shoe love, and in love conversion rates do not exist. So I will let Paulo tell you all about it.
Hey, I put some new shoes on,
And suddenly everything is right,
I said, hey, I put some new shoes on and everybody's smiling,
It's so inviting,
Oh, short on money,
But long on time,
Slowly strolling in the sweet sunshine,
And I'm running late,
And I dont need an excuse,
'cause I'm wearing my brand new shoes.
And suddenly everything is right,
I said, hey, I put some new shoes on and everybody's smiling,
It's so inviting,
Oh, short on money,
But long on time,
Slowly strolling in the sweet sunshine,
And I'm running late,
And I dont need an excuse,
'cause I'm wearing my brand new shoes.
-Paulo Nutini, 'New Shoes'
Also there is my last final (Early Modern Scottish History) tomorrow to be worrying about, but hey. Whatever. You only need a 40% to pass over here, and that's the beauty of the Scottish education system. Not that I'm condoning underachieving at all. I'm just saying - it happens.
The world is supposed to end tomorrow too, I found out today. If it does, at least I won't have to pay back my college loans. Tonight, I'm going to sleep in those shoes so that if I die, at least I'll go out with my boots on. Robert Duvall would be so proud.
Thursday 19 May 2011
it comes and goes in waves, i've found
Yesterday was a good day, the kind that makes you forget the bad ones that came before.
Back in the beginning of the semester, a bunch of us went to Bibi's to get some of their straight-outta-heaven cupcakes, and it was suggested that we go again before we all leave, so yesterday we met up to do that.
Here is a picture of the delicious lemony one I ate for my juliefriend (not to rub it in your face, darling):
Molly's brother eamon is here for the next two weeks so he joined us, despite being exhausted from his flight that had just gotten in at eight am. He barely could keep his eyes open but the rest of us kept entertained talking about how sad we all were when we first got here; pathetic and lost and barely able to find the basic neccessities of life. It seems like we've all come so far from spending the first few days crying in our rooms. We have our own lives now; our own friends and routines and places that mean so much to us. I'm so blessed in the friends that I've found here.
After cupcakes Megan and I browsed around in the better of the two H&M's that exist on Princes Street and mourned that the Primark they're putting in won't be opening until next Christmas.
Dinner with Audrey was my first experience at a 'chippy' - slang for a fish and chip shop, or more generally an individually owned fast food place, with the usual pizza, fish and chips, burgers, and kebabs. We've formed a bucket list of sorts of things that we want to do here before we leave, and are slowly knocking them off one by one.
We concluded our day at Finnegan's Wake again, listening to the banjo stylings of rock covers such as "Fat Bottomed Girls," "Paradise City," and "You Shook Me All Night Long." Those songs will never be the same to me again. Finnegan's is great though; it's very safe and the atmosphere is so alive.
The last few days have been cause for a lot of introspection and trying to learn from mistakes, both long ago and recent, and questioning whether they can be ratified. Keep your fingers crossed for me. Two weeks from today I'll be waking up in my own bed. I made this comment to a friend, and their response was, 'well, whose have you been sleeping in?' They meant it as a joke, but it also made me think. I need to find a way to bridge my life back home with experiences here and how they've made me grow as a person. Easier said than done, I think.
Back in the beginning of the semester, a bunch of us went to Bibi's to get some of their straight-outta-heaven cupcakes, and it was suggested that we go again before we all leave, so yesterday we met up to do that.
Here is a picture of the delicious lemony one I ate for my juliefriend (not to rub it in your face, darling):
Molly's brother eamon is here for the next two weeks so he joined us, despite being exhausted from his flight that had just gotten in at eight am. He barely could keep his eyes open but the rest of us kept entertained talking about how sad we all were when we first got here; pathetic and lost and barely able to find the basic neccessities of life. It seems like we've all come so far from spending the first few days crying in our rooms. We have our own lives now; our own friends and routines and places that mean so much to us. I'm so blessed in the friends that I've found here.
After cupcakes Megan and I browsed around in the better of the two H&M's that exist on Princes Street and mourned that the Primark they're putting in won't be opening until next Christmas.
Dinner with Audrey was my first experience at a 'chippy' - slang for a fish and chip shop, or more generally an individually owned fast food place, with the usual pizza, fish and chips, burgers, and kebabs. We've formed a bucket list of sorts of things that we want to do here before we leave, and are slowly knocking them off one by one.
We concluded our day at Finnegan's Wake again, listening to the banjo stylings of rock covers such as "Fat Bottomed Girls," "Paradise City," and "You Shook Me All Night Long." Those songs will never be the same to me again. Finnegan's is great though; it's very safe and the atmosphere is so alive.
The last few days have been cause for a lot of introspection and trying to learn from mistakes, both long ago and recent, and questioning whether they can be ratified. Keep your fingers crossed for me. Two weeks from today I'll be waking up in my own bed. I made this comment to a friend, and their response was, 'well, whose have you been sleeping in?' They meant it as a joke, but it also made me think. I need to find a way to bridge my life back home with experiences here and how they've made me grow as a person. Easier said than done, I think.
Sunday 15 May 2011
lots of flower pictures, some bad news, and inspirational quotage, for your enjoyment
we went to the royal botanical gardens today! the weather was great, and we almost got to see a wedding! too bad the kilted guard dudes were on top of their game. there were, however, a couple asian babies, and some swans. did you know that swans snort when they eat pond veggies? neither did i.
i also learned that sometimes, no matter how bad you want something, it just isn't meant to be. you can work at it and work at it but if the other person's heart isn't in it, nothing is going to be good enough. so goodbye to the last year and a half of my life; it's been real.
oh yeah, and the test went really good. thanks for asking :)
(told you it was a lot of pictures)
i also learned that sometimes, no matter how bad you want something, it just isn't meant to be. you can work at it and work at it but if the other person's heart isn't in it, nothing is going to be good enough. so goodbye to the last year and a half of my life; it's been real.
"Make it a rule of life never to regret and never to look back. Regret is an appalling waste of energy. You can't build on it; it's only good for wallowing in."
-- Katherine Mansfield
-- Katherine Mansfield
oh yeah, and the test went really good. thanks for asking :)
Thursday 12 May 2011
partying, partying, yeah!
This last week(-ish), Edinburgh has been experiencing these crazy pocket storms, where the sun is out and then suddenly it is gone and replaced with great huge black clouds - Clouds Of Doom, Audrey and I call them, since we got trapped in one last week on our trip around Arthur's Seat - and the next thing you know sheets of rain are pouring out of sky. (**note: it is essential that you pronounce 'clouds of doom' with the right amount of invocation, or they won't sound nearly as bad as they actually are. thank you.) Anyway, Molly and Hanne and I were on our way from the library to Teviot (the student union) to grab some American-style cheeseburgers complete with Heinz ketchup for lunch when one of these clouds of doom showed up, and within thirty seconds were were feeling the first pseudo-innocent tiny drops. According to Hanne's father, we are experiencing "the bubblies," which is a much cuter way of saying bi-polar weather. Let's get one thing straight though, the bubblies are not fun, no matter how deceptive their name.
Additionally, it is eighteen days. I know, I know. You're all tired of the countdown and so am I, but time keeps speeding up and it's like every morning when I sort of crawl/fall out of bed this alarm goes off in my head. This morning it kept saying "EIGHTEEN DAYS! EIGHTEEN DAYS!"in this really ominous voice that sounded a little like Jeremy Irons but I'm not sure. Personally I wouldn't mind if Jeremy Irons wanted to narrate my life, but if I get to make requests I would like him to be saying nicer things, please and thank you.
Tomorrow afternoon is my first final, which you are also tired of hearing about, which is a fantastic thing! But it is also sad because when again will I get a chance to read all about about the devious dealings of those early Celtic bad boys? I'm getting a kick out of them, for sure.
The point of all this complete nonsense, other than to show you what your brain can do on lots of library and not so much sleep, is that ... well, no. There is no other point. But life is good, and there are lots of awesome people with sweet British accents in the library, and I got my cheeseburger with Heinz ketchup, so really, what more is there?
Oh yeah, and Glee did a really awesome rendition of "Friday" in Wednesday's episode. Check it out, if you don't believe me. Eat your heart out, Rebecca Black.
Additionally, it is eighteen days. I know, I know. You're all tired of the countdown and so am I, but time keeps speeding up and it's like every morning when I sort of crawl/fall out of bed this alarm goes off in my head. This morning it kept saying "EIGHTEEN DAYS! EIGHTEEN DAYS!"in this really ominous voice that sounded a little like Jeremy Irons but I'm not sure. Personally I wouldn't mind if Jeremy Irons wanted to narrate my life, but if I get to make requests I would like him to be saying nicer things, please and thank you.
Tomorrow afternoon is my first final, which you are also tired of hearing about, which is a fantastic thing! But it is also sad because when again will I get a chance to read all about about the devious dealings of those early Celtic bad boys? I'm getting a kick out of them, for sure.
The point of all this complete nonsense, other than to show you what your brain can do on lots of library and not so much sleep, is that ... well, no. There is no other point. But life is good, and there are lots of awesome people with sweet British accents in the library, and I got my cheeseburger with Heinz ketchup, so really, what more is there?
Oh yeah, and Glee did a really awesome rendition of "Friday" in Wednesday's episode. Check it out, if you don't believe me. Eat your heart out, Rebecca Black.
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